My Small Person is having so much fun in kindergarten. Every day is an adventure for her; new friends, activities, tasks, experiences. Unlike Mom, she relishes the new, the unexpected, exciting novelty of different people and places. I try not to telegraph my uneasiness too obviously to her. It's her life, she deserves the respect of making her own choices, decisions, and mistakes. Can she climb that tree? Run x distance away from me at the park? Pour her own juice? I don't know, and neither does she, but we will never find out if I always tell her no, or impose restrictive limits that equal "no" just the same.
Obviously, every circumstance has different variables to take into account. And, maybe not obviously if you don't know me, I would never jeopardize my child's safety. I'm observant, I pay attention, I do freak-out when she gets too close to the street and hover like the best helicopter parent around the pool. The point is, to rein her in too much is to do a disservice to her development as a person.
For example (and what precipitated this topic), there is a fun task each child in her class gets to do, turn by turn. They get to bring home the class plushie animal, with journal, to enjoy cosily, privately. The journal is to record whatever the family would like about the day's activities with the rabbit. We were all introduced to rabbit and journal during orientation, when the teacher explained that the kids could draw a picture, or write something, or, perhaps, have a parent write for them. I know, it's kindergarten, not a lot of writing happening yet, although most kids in the class can write their own names. Today was Small Person's turn! Hooray! But, I was a little surprised when I opened the journal to find tidy, detailed, essays in grown-up handwriting, with nary a drawing or childish scrawl in sight. Why? Too messy? Too childish? I felt confused, and, I admit, judgmental. Why wouldn't these parents "let" their kids draw in the book? Are these folks going to be typing their term papers later?
Yes, I'm paranoid. And reactionary. And, what else? A crazy hippie permissive attachment parent? Yep, that too. The point is, which is more important; neatness, or creativity? Her ability to follow directions, or her ability to think for herself? Self-esteem, or self-abasement? Okay, maybe that last one was a little harsh. It's late, I have issues of my own. I'll reserve further judgment until Back-to-School Night on Thursday. I'll keep you posted.
1 comment:
Oh, I hear that.
I definitely agree -- and try to limit the amount of "be careful" that comes out of my mouth because even if she can't do something, she has to practice until she can. Right?
Of course whenever I let my daughter just *do* stuff out in the world I'm always worried that someone is judging me. (dope slap to self)
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